My mum & I with 2 of my siblings Mothers are strange Beings, they are. I say this lovingly, being a mother myself. So in honor of Mothers’ Day, I dedicate this post to mothers everywhere, especially to mine, and anticipatorily to my daughter when she herself becomes a mother (insha’Allah, God willing). In order to understand mothers, you have to either be a mother, or get inside the mind of a mother to understand how they operate. So this is my experience with the MIND of a mother, and things we say as mothers.
“MIND your manners”
This simple statement serves as a reminder to remember how you were raised and the values your mother tried to instill in you from childhood. This includes being respectful to everyone that crosses your path, for example saying ‘good morning’ to anyone that you meet regardless of their age, socioeconomic status or stature in life; responding with “yes Sir” or “no Ma’am to those who are older than you; being polite; and saying ‘please’ & ‘thank you’. It’s just common courtesy, what decent folks do. Failure to observe this principle would result in a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head in disbelief and disapproval, while murmuring loud enough for you to hear: “Tsk, tsk, tsk. No home training; no brought-upsy!” Ouch! Those words hurt more than the whip, because you knew it meant you had disappointed your mother, almost implying (far be it from the truth) that the household had failed to raise you right and you were probably raised by ‘hooligans’.
“My MIND told me not to go to the party”
This really is about precautionary intuition and trusting your gut instincts. Mothers just seem to know who the ‘wrong crowd’ is, when trouble is afoot or something smells fishy. I can tell you from my own experiences with the subtle warnings I’ve been given by my mother, that I have now learned to listen to her and to heed her advice, no matter how unwarranted they may seem at the time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve avoided trouble, accidents, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, just because my mum had a feeling about something. Her intuitive mind also keeps her in tune with and connected to those to whom she holds dear: “My MIND just ran across your cousin in Boise, Idaho” (only to be followed by a phone call from said cousin a day later). I do wish my mother’s intuitive mind would give her the winning numbers to our lottery drawing….. Alas, apparently we have to work in this lifetime, she says.
“MIND your own business” (aka ‘MYOB’).
This doesn’t concern you. Stay in your lane. What should be on your mind - that you’re giving attention to - should be your own issues and concerns. This is grown folks’ business. All self-explanatory. May or may not be accompanied by “Have you lost your MIND?!!!” The first is actually a directive; the 2nd is a statement of sheer disbelief, not a question. Either way, you don’t want to hear either of these too many times from a mother as it may result in some form of punishment :-) Now because you’re not the only one with issues of the mind, you may also find her shaking her head in bewilderment, muttering under her breath: “I’m not sure where my MIND was, but I did or didn’t do x, y or z…......” I get such a tickle out of this when my mother does this, because I get to gloat & screech with delight: “Aha! I knew you lost YOUR mind!” (ba ha ha ha! :-) Payback is sweet although short-lived).
“Never MIND, my dear”
When life seems hard or overwhelming and you just want to run away from the hurt, “Never mind my dear” becomes the most comforting sentiment you’ll hear from a mother. Most often it is followed by the rest of the sentence: “God never gives you more than you can bear”. It means she understands and cares, and with her words she would wish away all your pain if she could. It is simultaneously a supportive attempt to remind you not to worry too much or carry a burden on your mind, as well as a prayer to a Power greater than us for strength, and the “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
“You can do it if you put your MIND to it”
A mother believes in you and encourages you. ‘Nose to the grindstone’, she reminds you. She knows how capable you are because she herself has survived the unthinkable or the impossible. She wants more for you than she had for herself. That strength and perseverance is in your ancestral DNA, and is there for you to remember, to return to, and to call on. With consistent and laser-like focus on the end result, you can achieve your ‘possible’. Failure is not an option in her vocabulary. She lives - not vicariously through you - but for you to live up to your fullest potential and for you to believe yourself to be the success that she knows you are.
I am mindful today of what it truly means to be a mother. Thank you, Mother, for believing in me, for supporting me, for pushing me, for protecting me, for nurturing me, for advising me, for being patient with me, for loving me. All that I am I owe to you. “I remember my mother’s prayers for they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life” (Abraham Lincoln).
Audrey Steele, L.Ac.
Acupuncture Physician
“MIND your manners”
This simple statement serves as a reminder to remember how you were raised and the values your mother tried to instill in you from childhood. This includes being respectful to everyone that crosses your path, for example saying ‘good morning’ to anyone that you meet regardless of their age, socioeconomic status or stature in life; responding with “yes Sir” or “no Ma’am to those who are older than you; being polite; and saying ‘please’ & ‘thank you’. It’s just common courtesy, what decent folks do. Failure to observe this principle would result in a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head in disbelief and disapproval, while murmuring loud enough for you to hear: “Tsk, tsk, tsk. No home training; no brought-upsy!” Ouch! Those words hurt more than the whip, because you knew it meant you had disappointed your mother, almost implying (far be it from the truth) that the household had failed to raise you right and you were probably raised by ‘hooligans’.
“My MIND told me not to go to the party”
This really is about precautionary intuition and trusting your gut instincts. Mothers just seem to know who the ‘wrong crowd’ is, when trouble is afoot or something smells fishy. I can tell you from my own experiences with the subtle warnings I’ve been given by my mother, that I have now learned to listen to her and to heed her advice, no matter how unwarranted they may seem at the time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve avoided trouble, accidents, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, just because my mum had a feeling about something. Her intuitive mind also keeps her in tune with and connected to those to whom she holds dear: “My MIND just ran across your cousin in Boise, Idaho” (only to be followed by a phone call from said cousin a day later). I do wish my mother’s intuitive mind would give her the winning numbers to our lottery drawing….. Alas, apparently we have to work in this lifetime, she says.
“MIND your own business” (aka ‘MYOB’).
This doesn’t concern you. Stay in your lane. What should be on your mind - that you’re giving attention to - should be your own issues and concerns. This is grown folks’ business. All self-explanatory. May or may not be accompanied by “Have you lost your MIND?!!!” The first is actually a directive; the 2nd is a statement of sheer disbelief, not a question. Either way, you don’t want to hear either of these too many times from a mother as it may result in some form of punishment :-) Now because you’re not the only one with issues of the mind, you may also find her shaking her head in bewilderment, muttering under her breath: “I’m not sure where my MIND was, but I did or didn’t do x, y or z…......” I get such a tickle out of this when my mother does this, because I get to gloat & screech with delight: “Aha! I knew you lost YOUR mind!” (ba ha ha ha! :-) Payback is sweet although short-lived).
“Never MIND, my dear”
When life seems hard or overwhelming and you just want to run away from the hurt, “Never mind my dear” becomes the most comforting sentiment you’ll hear from a mother. Most often it is followed by the rest of the sentence: “God never gives you more than you can bear”. It means she understands and cares, and with her words she would wish away all your pain if she could. It is simultaneously a supportive attempt to remind you not to worry too much or carry a burden on your mind, as well as a prayer to a Power greater than us for strength, and the “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
“You can do it if you put your MIND to it”
A mother believes in you and encourages you. ‘Nose to the grindstone’, she reminds you. She knows how capable you are because she herself has survived the unthinkable or the impossible. She wants more for you than she had for herself. That strength and perseverance is in your ancestral DNA, and is there for you to remember, to return to, and to call on. With consistent and laser-like focus on the end result, you can achieve your ‘possible’. Failure is not an option in her vocabulary. She lives - not vicariously through you - but for you to live up to your fullest potential and for you to believe yourself to be the success that she knows you are.
I am mindful today of what it truly means to be a mother. Thank you, Mother, for believing in me, for supporting me, for pushing me, for protecting me, for nurturing me, for advising me, for being patient with me, for loving me. All that I am I owe to you. “I remember my mother’s prayers for they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life” (Abraham Lincoln).
Audrey Steele, L.Ac.
Acupuncture Physician
3 generations strong - my Mother, my Daughter & I
